"No more talking about the homeless"

[Heidi Mull]

Heidi talks about luck, but I see a lot of not giving up and pursuing possibilities that turned out to be “lucky”.  That’s pulling yourself up by the bootstraps.

And while you can have unlucky events— as everyone does— perseverance eventually results in success.

The way I see it, I was doing everything *possible* to pull myself up by my bootstraps, but I needed more help than what I could give myself.

While I was going through it, I had a steady stream of people telling me I just needed to actually put a little effort into getting my life together, and I'd be fine. I just had to "work at it a little". I was blamed for my own situation throughout. Or, people would get to know me and say "Oh but you're so organized, you're so driven, you're trying so hard, I'm sure something will work out." And they would continue living their comfortable life while I struggled to find my next meal, and would continue to for the next several years.

I know many people who persevered as hard and for as long or longer than I have, and did not make it.

I do see that my efforts played a role in it. But effort alone isn't enough.

The example I like to give involves plants. All plants strive to live, to flourish. If they aren't, if they are struggling or dying, we acknowledge that it's due to environmental factors. Too much sun, not enough nutrients in their soil, not enough water, etc. Plants are resilient, and persevere through horrendous conditions, and it's amazing to witness! But there is a limit to how much they can withstand before going under. And we never blame the plant for not trying hard enough--we acknowledge that the environmental conditions were simply too harsh for its survival.

People like to believe that perseverance and creativity and grasping all opportunities eventually results in success and happiness. Part of what contributes to this thinking is stories like mine, because yes, I beat incredible odds and overcame horrendous obstacles and yes, my efforts played a role in that. But what you don't see is that for every inspirational story of someone who makes it, there are 50+ others who never do.

I see it because it's where I came from. And it breaks my heart.