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Dog Parks and Distractions
#1
Hospice sucks, I mean the folks at hospice do a great job and it is a wonderful program, having someone on hospice sucks.

I am dog sitting and my poor mom is dying while I tend to her and three dogs in her small apartment. I’m not complaining, it’s all going ok, but I wish I could convince the dogs to not bark and startle mom.

So I found a near by dog park I can take the dogs to and try to get some of their energy out. I have my sister here a couple of hours everyday and I have a Monday through Friday caregiver to assist for eight hours a day. I know I need breaks from all of this so it’s the dog park for some rest and relaxation. This entire town is 55 plus so I am pretty young at the dog park, I’d say everyone else is in their seventies. The dogs all play together pretty well. Yesterday there were 10 dogs on the “little dog” side of the park. It’s an interesting mix of apartment sized dogs and elderly owners. I met a Vietnam vet and a friendly and talkative fellow and an old woman who just wanted to know all the doggies names so she could talk to the dogs. I really liked the old woman the best, screw people, next time I’ll just chat with the dogs. I’ll sniff butts and wag my tail. Anything to distract me from this. When I talk to people they want to know where I’m staying and what I’m doing, the dogs just want to play.

Mom and I always watch Law and Order together when I am in town. Now we just have it going nonstop as background noise. The other background noises are the freeway and the oxygen machine. Yesterday she could still whisper and talk, today all I can get is a head nod. It’s emotional overload, although I feel I am handling this well my BP is pretty high, so I guess the stress is getting to me.

[Image: b67eae03f66ece34cd2080493544295d.jpg]
This is 1969. I hated that skirt, but here we all are at the beginning of all this. My brother and I were adopted and the baby was their biological surprise. Chapters are always ending and beginning in life. Dad died four years ago. I stayed and helped with him when he was on hospice. Now this...... tonight might be the last time we watch Law and Order together, even if mom isn’t actually watching, I’ve seen every episode at least a couple of times, don’t know if I ever care to watch it again.

My sister wants to go through things. Split up pictures in photo albums, decide who should take what and which things should be sold. I’m tired, I’m spent. Watching someone die is exhausting. I want to be a dog. I just want to sniff butts and wag my tail. Is it too much to ask for?

My brother arrives around midnight. A niece arrives on Wednesday. My boys and some relatives have been video conferencing with mom and saying goodbye. Now language has stopped, now the quiet and uncomfortable wait begins.

I am thankful. I’m thankful for being a dweller and having the free time to help, for being able to accept the responsibility of caring for her as she once cared for me. This chapter is almost written, all that is left is the closing scene, and then I’ll have a eulogy to write and a ceremony to attend and I’ll move on.

But damn it, this is happening awfully quick and we are already at the sitting and waiting part.

Dog park tomorrow. I’m going to talk to the dogs.........


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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#2
BLANCH MY HEART AND THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU TONITE. 

 IF I TRUELY THOUGHT PRAYERS ARE ANY HELP I'D SAY ONE FOR YOU AND YOUR MOM

JEWELLANN
I WAS NOT BUILT TO BREAK  
                  
         MY  Heart  IS GOOD....BUT OH THIS MOUTH
[-] The following 1 user says Thank You to Texjbird for this post:
  • Blanch (05-26-2019)
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#3
Don't let the sad thoughts overtake you.
Remember the good times instead.
And talk to the dogs.........they understand.
Stay Tuned
rvpopeye



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15 "Stinkin'Badges"  a "Full Monty Badge" 2 "Just Ignore Me" clusters  10 "Pine Cone" clusters  , one "Stinkin' Badger" and 7 of the coveted "Flying Manure Spreader"awards
(What a "Stinkin' " honor !)
 


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  • Blanch (05-26-2019)
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#4
When Mom was in hospice and unable to communicate for a week, some family members came and sang and read to her. She responded by better pulse rates. Then some family members loudly planned her funeral. Her pulse rates went down. They also went through photos to use at her funeral. They say the last thing to go is hearing... this frustrated me. (I got rid of all my photos after they both died.) Dogs sniffing would have been preferable, for sure. Will a dog sit with her for comfort? Maybe they pick up on anyone being stressed or nervous. When Dad died 6 weeks later we had a party for him the evening he went non talking. We know he knew even though he seemed so out of it. It was the best thing we did. Some were on Skype. Some were there singing and reading to Dad. We all talked to him. We left his hearing aids in until he passed. The night of the party we had crafts for kids to do in the next room. There was a little snack food. He seemed to enjoy the party. His pulse rate stayed up. When everyone but me and my daughter left so he could sleep for the night he declined pretty rapidly. We took off his oxygen rather than prolong his time. We used the meds hospice provided. Ask a nurse about dosage towards the end or search the net. He died peacefully while I was reading Psalm 23. I know he heard me read. His last pulse was the last word of the last verse. Peace to all.
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#5
Heartbreaking Blanch. I feel so bad for you! The post made me so sad. I am wishing the best for you and your mom thru this very emotional rough and hard time!!!

Chat away and let it all out. Will help you thru some of the stress. To let out the sadness of it all. I am so sorry you are going thru this!
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  • Blanch (05-27-2019)
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#6
So sorry Blanche. I went they the hospice deaths three times now. The mind thinks and thinks.
monkeyfoot
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  • Blanch (05-27-2019)
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#7
Dogs are best, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Blanch.

When my mom passes my brother wanted to do all of that divvying up, I told him I was done, I didn’t care about stuff at all and he was welcome to sell moms place if he wanted. I took off for the Keys and didn’t give the material stuff another thought. People don’t understand we minimalists.
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  • Blanch (05-27-2019)
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#8
Same here Queen.
Mom is 91 and over the last 5 yrs since Dad passed at age 86 she is saying, everyone take what ya want from the house. Me being the girl I get all her diamonds, gold jewelry etc. and while I still don't want it, she made me take it all and I just put it up for my daughter to maybe melt down all the gold, use the diamonds and other gems and maybe make some new jewelry she might want in the future? I couldn't not take it cause she wanted me to have it so bad...….my brothers took like 1-2 things each and are like....we want nothing else. I want nothing. Stuff....being a minimalist and not interested in things (to me junk now) I just don't hold any of it dear. A few pics of course but other than that, I don't need, want, desire any of it all. I also said to brothers that we can hold estate sale and let it all go. They are fine with just that. I think when one turns into the 'let it go' lifestyle and stuff holds nothing dear to us mostly then it is just let life go down as it does and let me live as I want and don't tread on me. That is my kinda thinking.
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  • Blanch (05-27-2019)
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#9
Blanch- you are there for her. That is your best gift.
Hold her hand and tell her that you will be ok. (and you Will be ok. may take time, but you will.)
You may feel weak sometimes, but the fact you are There- proves you are strong.

Know that I am sitting with you, next to your fire. As we watch the smoke rise into the star filled night sky.
My body is a temple- Ancient and crumbling,  
probably cursed 

[Image: AIDog_Line_Sm_Teal_GD.png]
Dog Bender with just one Stinkin' Badge 

"it's Beige.."
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  • Blanch (05-27-2019)
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#10
Blanch

I know that you have the strength to get through this, you are strong.
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