Upper radiator hose blew-2002 Ford Windstar SEL

[American Nomad Patriot]

Wabbit...You got my # if you need anything. Let me know. Or just call to B.S. is ok too. lol

[B and C]

Yep, stuck. My wife has dementia and I am taking care of her.

[American Nomad Patriot]

Yep, stuck.  My wife has dementia and I am taking care of her.

I can totally relate. I had to take care of my mother at her house in Katy for three years who got dementia after a few mini strokes. Then my brother took care of her for a year. Now she is in nursing home in Conroe called Bright Pointe.  I never got too many visitors during that time. Each person that has dementia is different. Even after 3 yrs I still couldn't quite figure out "where" her mind was. Memory was in and out. Then decreased as time went on. You probably understand when I say this..." It's not what they remember or forget...their soul knows. And they live for the moment because that the only thing they have." "It does not matter to me if my mother would forget a minute later after I told her something that made her smile or whatever made her happy. I was happy that I could bring that window of time into her life. I'll remember for both of us." 
I'll be around for the next week and a half here in Willis (1 town north of Conroe). Shoot me text or call.  David

[rvpopeye]

I remember the first time I passed through Conroe looking for a detour around the big city.
I thought I had gone through a time portal or something ,,,, It looked so much like Maine !!

[Snikwahjm]

I took care of my mother for three years until she died a year ago. A nursing home is never the same as being cared for by loved ones. We had our moments when things were frustrating and not very pretty, but we had some good times, too. She, too had dementia, mini strokes, diabetes, thyroid issues, balance and swallowing issues, etc. Dad had dementia - it was worse as long as he was on blood thinners... I think he mostly lost his ability to reason. He also had congestive heart failure. Being a caretaker is a very hard thing to live through. There is never a good ending. After they died I battled a lot of grief anger and anger issues I had built up over the years. It’s been a tough year working through those ^ issues plus working on a derelict house. I don’t know my way around any of it. I wish I had dealt with some of before they died... there just wasn’t time to get out of there and find support. If you can seek some kind of help if only to vent a little to someone who isn’t significant to you. Those significant to you don’t want to hear it and they just won’t get it anyway. Take care of yourself a bit. Plot and plan for the day you can get out and about. Being a care taker at least for me was very close to being in jail. When I got out of there I was supposed to suddenly pick up my life and move on. My old life was gone. Most of my friends moved on, family doesn’t understand the care taker issues at all. Maybe some PTSD. It is a lot more complicated than I thought. You not only have a new reality but you have grief and caretaker syndrome issues to deal with at the same time. They care calling it complicated grief. Other people close to you won’t have the same grief or reality to deal with as you. Some times that is when they choose to abandon you. You are doing the right thing to stand by her and take care of her. I admire you for that. It isn’t easy, hang in there. It can be very discouraging but it is the very best you can do for her. I believe there are other former caretakers on board here and some who still are taking care. This is an Ain’t Right group if there ever was one and I’m thankful to be sharing in this group. There is hope for me to break free of the rut I’m in and move on some time.

[Snikwahjm]

How on earth did this thread go from radiator hose to ^^^??? YARC

[American Nomad Patriot]

That song "Lean on me.." comes to mind. Maybe mixed with some Margaritaville. End up with Highway to hell...LOL...IDK...Wait...one more ..."What a mess I'm in.." <--IDK the actual country song that goes to this.

[B and C]

I think the radiator hose issue is dead AFAIK.

Thanks for the encouraging words. Yes, it feels like I am under house arrest most of the time along with a ball and chain. Hated to say that last part but is true. I have a shadow wherever I go. My DIL used to work at a care facility and thinks maybe a year or two tops to go. I am thinking this will be like when my dad died of prostate cancer. It was a relief for all and a joyous time as he was not suffering anymore and with his maker.

In two years I will be 72. I am still in mostly good health (no meds) but can feel myself going downhill because I am basically sitting here and rotting away. I am still trying to work on little projects when I can squirrel away some time to keep improving my van.

Thanks again. Fair winds and following seas to all.

[American Nomad Patriot]

B/C ..Sooooo How's that radiator hose? lol

[Snikwahjm]

Brian,
Because I was so housebound I wasn’t out and about exercising as I should, I didn’t make it to the dentist, etc... I was feeding mom ice cream everyday so she would have some kind of liquid (and eating it) I gained weight and lost muscle. Looking back, I think I could have taken more time for myself, maybe taken Mom to the Y and let her watch. For a while we did walk the mall. Dad speed walked and I walked along with Mom. Not real exercise for me. But that didn’t last long because Dad’s health declined, too. I think she might have enjoyed watching at the Y and I would have been in better shape. Well, I did take her swimming a couple times. No exercise for me but she loved it. It was so hard to take her places though... the weight does eventually come off but prevention is a great cure. A ball and chain is exactly what you have. Mom was a ball and chain for me. When she died I was very relieved. It took me a long time to truly grieve though because I felt so relieved. The grief class was wonderful and helped me get in touch with everything that was going on with me. I wish I had taken it a lot sooner than I did. I loved her dearly but it was not an easy phase of my life or marriage. But until death do we part... sickness and health. Mental sickness is still sickness. I admire that you honor your marriage vows and all you do for her. Supposedly there were caretaker support groups but what do you do with the “ball and chain” when you go?